Why Most Goal-Oriented Coaching Inevitably 'Fails'

Business man chasing a carrot

Most coaching models are built around achieving milestones or 'smashing' goals: get the promotion, lose the weight, find the relationship, hit the six-figure mark. And humans have been seduced by goals since time immemorial because of the promise of transformation. Everyone's hunting for that new state of being.

And while achieving goals can feel amazing (briefly), this destination mindset can leave you stuck in an endless chase for the next shiny milestone, while your present moment experience of life completely escapes you.

When we fixate on the next preferred "state"—whether it’s “successful,” “married,” "hyperfit" or even “enlightened”—we reduce life to a checklist. But the problem is, life isn’t a series of destinations; it’s a single, flowing journey and can only ever be experienced in the present moment. With a goal-oriented mindset we often ignore the subtle, meaningful changes happening between the milestones.

In many of my coaching clients, I observe that this milestone mindset makes everyday life feel like a grind. It’s wash, rinse, repeat—until the next big “achievement” temporarily jolts them out of monotony. But inevitably, the high fades, and they’re left chasing the next goal.

Buddhist mythology has a story of a hungry ghost—a suffering figure representing insatiable desire. The ghost’s mouth is tiny, its stomach enormous and distended, and no matter how much it consumes, it’s never enough. In life, this plays out as the relentless pursuit of “success,” “freedom,” “happiness,” or whatever state you believe the next achievement will deliver.

The problem? Goals are inherently fleeting, and so are states. Nothing lasts. That promotion, that perfect body, that soulmate— might satisfy you momentarily, but they can’t possibly address the deeper yearning for peace, connection, and fulfillment.

What if freedom isn’t found in acquisition, but in presence? Life isn’t a series of discrete events to conquer; it’s a continuous unfolding, where each moment holds value—not as a means to an end, but as an end in itself.

Coaching that focuses solely on milestones will inevitably fail you because it feeds the ghost instead of liberating you from it. Real transformation requires turning toward the process—the living, breathing now.

True transformation happens in the flow. The moments you habitually overlook are where growth and fulfillment actually reside. A coach who focuses on the living process of your ongoing evolution that only ever unfolds in the present—can help you escape this hamster wheel of goals and find true meaning in the here and now.

Are you ready to stop chasing milestones and start living the journey? Let’s talk.